I Opened Pandora’s Box Today On Twitter

What began as a basic disagreement led to a full on Twitter war and an onslaught attack on me specifically. People joining into the argument didn’t bother me or surprise me. When I stir the pot, I want the controversy to ensue, and I want as many people in on it as possible because I’ll have a better chance of assembling an army. But today I was basically alone, and I was forced to defend myself against all types of people and all types of insults and objections. Let’s get to it.

Vanilla tootsie rolls (blue wrapper) are the worst flavor by far. I don’t think they’re uneatable, I just know they’re the worst out of the bunch. If there were only vanilla tootsie rolls in a bowl, I would hesitate before taking one, and then I’d realize why I only took one because they stink. Then I decided to bring Jolly Ranchers into the fight, declaring that the blue raspberry flavor is the worst, which it is. Everyone’s favorite color is blue, thus their favorite flavor is anything blue. The blue jolly rancher tastes like soap. Regardless of the flavor, it turns your entire mouth blue. Nobody even takes that into account because they’re too busy thinking short-term. Blue mouth? No thanks. Out of all the fuel I added to the fire, this caused the biggest disagreement which I just don’t get. Green Apple and Watermelon are an easy one, two punch for Jolly Ranchers, with cherry grape and blue taking the back end. They’re not even relevant in my book, and blue raspberry is the most irrelevant of them all. But tootsie rolls and jolly ranchers are both replaceable. They’re essentially futile in the grand scheme of candy. But chips are a major player in the snack game. The brand and style of chips play part, sure, but not like flavor. The fact that you ANIMALS think Salt & Vinegar chips are edible, let alone better than Sour Cream & Onion, is totally insane. The taste is disgusting, as are your taste in chips. You wanna eat Salt & Vinegar chips, be my guest, but don’t ever come at me claiming they’re ahead of Sour Cream & Onion on the scale of chips. Never. The basic flavors are regular, BBQ, Salt & Vinegar, and Sour Cream & Onion. Salt & Vinegar is uncontestedly last. Listen, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and everybody likes different things, but I was under the impression that these were all unanimous topics. It’s insulting to me that I even have to defend myself. You want to take the opposing position on one of these three? That’s fair. But the people who disagree on all three are people I don’t want to surround myself with. I don’t really see a need to be friends with them, and I don’t think it’s unfair for me to want my friends to stay away from those bad influences. That might come off a little harsh, but is it though? You need to choose sides here, none of that on-the-fence nonsense that’s bullshit. Who do you want to go into battle with? What team do you want to play on? The winning team or the weird losing team?




Here’s the biggest problem. People are spineless. Everyone is so worried about being different than everyone else because they fear they will be ostracized. Too many people are afraid to speak their opinions. So afraid, in fact, that they believe that their own opinions are wrong so they can join society and follow the status quo. Fuck that shit. Controversy creates excitement. Opinions define personality. I’ll be happy to continue being the person to shake things up and put people on the spot and force them out of their comfort zone, but I recommend you all start developing backbones. Being the sole antagonist is getting lonely.


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