On Friday, January 17, 2014, I saw a hitchhiker. Like a real life hitchhiker, dude was walking down Rt 33 backwards, facing traffic, thumb up in the air and out for all drivers to see. It all happened so fast. By the time I saw him, processed what was going on, and considered picking him up, I was way past him. But I could have went back. I should have went back, right? How many chances am I gonna have to do that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hitchhiker before. If it’s a “once every 21 years” type thing, then I might have another shot. And I for sure will not squander that opportunity again. But I think it’s more of a Halley’s Comet type of occurrence. It’s like seeing a god damn unicorn! See it once, if you’re lucky, and it’s gone so fast. But I know I screwed up big time here. Granted I was on my way back to work and didn’t really have time to go joyriding with some weird old hitchhiker, but I think my boss would have understood. The Good Samaritan things takes precedence here I think.
Is there a chance the guy was a murderer looking for his next victim? Absolutely. But what kind of person would I be assuming that stranger was actually a stone cold killer? What kind of life would I be living? I’ll put the odds at 50/50 on the murderer thing. Would I have had to disinfect my car seat after (and possible just buy a totally new car)? Yes, I suppose. But who knows maybe he had tons of money on him and was willing to pay me a hefty sum. Maybe he just wanted some company. But let’s be real. I wasn’t the only car who saw him and passed him. My guess is most people didn’t even feel bad. But that’s not me. Maybe I just wanted to know why the fuck he was looking for a ride on Rt 33, maybe I just wanted to see if he had money to take and then throw him out of my car where he started. There’s an endless amount of questions I could have asked him. I bet you that kinda guy sits in the shower, although I’m not certain if he has ever seen a shower considering he was walking on Rt 33 looking for someone to pick him up. I don’t know. But now I’ll never know. Fuck. And if I was a hitchhiker, the thumb thing doesn’t make me confident in successfully hitching a ride. Ya gotta do some crazy shit like take off your pants or do some kind of street routine to really catch an eye. Dead serious, you can stick me on any main highway and I’ll get a ride in 90 minutes tops.