I Have A Small Problem With Burger King Right Now

Burger King has been getting on my nerves lately, and tonight I’ve had it. First they advertise their new “Burger with fries on it”. It’s amazing how they’re even allowed to advertise something like that, considering it’s one of the least original ideas in the world. People have been putting fries on their burger since the beginning of time. Since DAY ONE of burgers being served with French Fries, people combined the two. I don’t know who was first, but it wasn’t Burger King.

And now they think they’re hot shit because their new French Fries have 30% fewer calories and 40% less fat than McDonald’s French Fries. Hate to break it to ya, BK, but nobody cares. I really don’t have much of a problem with Burger King’s food, it’s pretty good. Plus, they have the ICEE machine that no other fast food places offer, so props for that. But if you or anyone else thinks I am choosing BK over McDonald’s because their fries are a little healthier, you’ve got another thing coming. They’re French Fries! They’re supposed to be bad for you. You’re supposed to feel like shit after you eat them, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I almost feel bad for Burger King for trying to think outside the box and offer the world something different, especially since they have no chance against powerhouses like McDonald’s and Wendy’s. They’ve been a step behind for years, and they will continue to play ketchup (pun most certainly intended). Everybody knows Burger King is stuck in that 3 spot, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I bet their nuggets aren’t even shaped like crowns anymore. That could be their biggest mistake to date.

Attn: ALL FAST FOOD CHAINS. You want to make BIG money with a new “healthy” menu option? Sweet potato fries. You can thank me later.

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