Now Hiring: Full Time Camera Crew

I’ve been saying this for a long time, and now it’s time to officially put it out there. I am interested in hiring a full time camera crew. The job is simple, film me all day, everyday. Film me everywhere I go, film everything I say. Nothing so so amazing happens in my life on a daily basis, but what if something does? I want that captured on film. What if I need to go back in the archives and find some detail of some event? No problem, we have it on tape. At first I figured one camera would be enough, but one person can’t catch everything. I want different angles, different lenses, different fuzzy sound microphones hovering over me at all times. Fish eye lens, wide frame, the works. I figured eventually it will be made into a documentary and sold to millions of people all over the world, but that’s a long ways a way.

As far as qualifications go, the application process is gonna have to be pretty cutthroat. I need people who I won’t mind spending every minute of every day with. We’re gonna be hanging out a lot not doing much, so I’m gonna need people who I can trust and enjoy spending leisure time with. But the point is to act like the cameras are not in my face. I need to just go on with my day as if they weren’t filming me. So there’s a chance I never ever speak to the camera crew directly. But I need them to just not annoy me. Maybe I’m asking a lot, maybe it’s the start of something genius. For the time being, the only logical short term option is to get a GoPro. But I also want all of my friends to just act natural around the cameras. Don’t be an asshole, plain and simple. If you feel the need to act differently on screen, you will be cut from the video, no problem.

It’s my senior year of college, things are gonna get weird. And it needs to be documented. Good things are going to happen, and I want everyone to be apart of it. So technically I’m not even doing this for myself, I’m doing it for you. You’ll be able to make memories with me, and relive them in the future. But once the cameras are rolling don’t try to act like you’re better friends with me than you are. I already have an entourage planned out basically. My friends will be treated like VIP because we are VIP. We cut lines because we can. And who’s gonna say no to a bunch of cameras. Businesses want the exposure, so they will treat me like a celebrity, it’s a fool proof plan. When you act like you’re supposed to be somewhere, people will treat you like a big deal. The cameras will only enhance that for me. I don’t know, I just think it’s a great idea and I plan to execute this plan in the near future.

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