Marriage Proposal at the Mall Goes About as Badly as it Can Go

28 Aug

Assuming it’s real, this could be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Is this guy for real? Honestly my dude should have taken the hint when the fucking train ran almost stampeded him and his mariachi band. “You had me at hello. When you said hello to me. I mean after I said hello- anyway..” Nice, bro. Who knew Slumdog Millionaire could be so smooth? Just rounding up like 300 people at the mall to call his chick his “Honeypie”, his “Sweetie pie”, and I think his “john”? I’d say that’s where he went wrong. I don’t know much, but I know calling a girl John is a recipe for disaster most times. “Whoops, sorry mall custodian cleaning up the wet floor. Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to propose over here.” And how about Latika with just complete disregard for his woodshop class ukulele? Fucked up.

I’m not someone who’s afraid to embarrass myself in public. I’m pretty confident, I mean I dressed up like Richard Simmons and did a workout routine in front of like 1000 people in high school. But if you think I’m proposing to a girl in the mall, you’re fuckin looney. Stadium? No shot. Not trying to get smacked in the face with a toy guitar standing next to a custodian and a Caution Wet Floor sign and become an Internet sensation and the laughing stock of the modern world. I’ll pass thanks.

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